Can A Man & Woman Be Bestfriends?

Can a man and a woman be best friends?

My answer is yes, but this is a simple question. What if you make the question a little more complex and instead ask this question? Can a guy and girl be best friends without the thought of taking it further? The thought is what makes it seem impossible for the opposite sex to be friends. The thought of what it would be like to be in a relationship with them, or the thought of what it may be like to sleep with them. These are not the thoughts you have in a same sex friendship. So is it possible to do it without the thought? This person may be your confidant, your shoulder to cry on, and your every now and then movie date. (s)He is your best friend, and isn’t your mate supposed to be your “best friend”?
As I ponder this question, I think about my cousin who has been in and out of relationships for the past 10 years. The only thing that is constant is her male best friend. Whenever she is lonely she hangs out with him, when she is in the middle of a break he consoles her. He is her go to person in time of need. He changes her tires, picks her up from the airport, takes her out to dinner, and spends “quality” time with her. So I am almost certain that the “thought” has entered her mind, no matter how many times she denies it. The important thing is that they have never acted on it. They value their friendship and both know that if they took it any further they would destroy what they have built. It is my belief that they have a strong bond, they have a friendship that may last an eternity and beyond. They recognized that giving into temptation would surely have been the end of almost 15 years. I often wonder how their significant others feels about the bond that they share. Her response has always been the same, “they have to accept it or get to stepping”. Unfortunately, this may be why she is always alone. So I guess the question should be “should a man and woman be best friends”?

Nevaeh

Sensae…what say you?

Let’s keep it 100. For the majority of people in these situations, the notion has ABSOLUTELY crossed their minds on, not just one but, many occasions. We all know initial attraction is oftentimes based upon the physical. With that said, you have to get past the bodily appeal first in order to fully appreciate someone’s mind. Think about it from a different viewpoint. Have you ever met someone you weren’t interested in; however, as you learned more about her/him you began to think: “She/He is cool. Personality. I can talk to her/him. AND she/he looks alright.”? My fellow readers, this is how it all begins…as a mere THOUGHT. Whether or not these inner feelings and ideas are ever voiced to anyone else is another write-up for a different blog. However, people naturally tend to assess others in that “I wonder if” and “what if” mode. It happens.

Now, as for Nevaeh’s cousin, without question…she has a serious “love jones” for this guy she calls her “best friend”. Guaranteed (and I’m taking bets), if this guy seriously pursued taking it beyond the thought to put this concept in motion, good ‘ol cousin would eventually (if not instantly) accept the proposition. She’d parlay it into the infamous, “We’ve been friends for years. We finally realized we’re attracted to each other. We connect on so many levels, so we decided to hook up.” Yep, pretending as if they both woke up one day and these feelings miraculously became evident to them. Uh Duh…No. That’s a falsehood. These are merely suppressed emotions that have finally been expressed. The other thing to note, Nevaeh, is this…your cousin may have already crossed the line and had at least one “rendezvous” with her “best friend“. This could be anything from a seemingly simple kiss to a full fledge “passionate act of kindness”. However, for her own personal reasons, she may feel uncomfortable sharing this escapade with others. This could include potential judgment by friends and/or family, or a fear of rejection by her “best friend” (which might already exist depending on events which followed the “unfriendly” activities). You saw “Brown Sugar” with Sanaa and Taye. That movie is just one example of events we often see play out in the real world through our own lives, or those of close friends and family members.

Speaking of lines to be crossed…the NEXT question I need answered is whether or not it’s ever ok to date the ex-girlfriend/boyfriend OR “serious side piece” of a friend. :-0 (Don’t all respond at once with defenses for your past and/or present indiscretions. LOL!)

Sensae

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