To Cheat or Not To Cheat?

Who did it? YOU did it! Right or wrong…”Cheaters”. We hear about it from friends and family. It’s all over the media; TV and radio have fun with the topic. Quite frankly, you’ve either performed the act of cheating, or were the victim of such an act. You might’ve even played the scheming role of an accomplish in such a task. With all of this activity…let’s step back and first define it. Can we? Let’s see. Is cheating the act of sexual activity only? Or, is flirting considered cheating as well? How about texting? (*I guess we can see how that turned out for Kwame Kilpatrick.) The reality of it all, people, is quite simple. Cheating = Cheating. You can try to twist it, turn it, and make it fit your own wrongdoing, but it’s still cheating. Yes, if you’re typing or whispering “sweet nothings” to someone else, and can’t tell your significant other you said these things without catching a fat eye or frying pan to the forehead, it’s CHEATING. Period. End of story. Oh…and don’t think you ever have justification to cheat either. You don’t. It doesn’t matter if your man or woman gets you so pissed that you have to “do something”. That doesn’t mean you get a pass to seek a false sense of comfort from someone else. The WRONG decision to step out on your mate in any shape, form, or fashion is inexcusable and an act of indiscretion. Deal with the situation in your relationship! “Man(Woman) up!” If you really don’t want to work on the problems with your man or woman (which is a punk move, but ok), then save everyone the trouble by being adult enough to know when to fold. End the relationship. This means severing ALL ties (*don’t try to “hit it and quit it” a few more times); then, you can move on without strings attached. Just so I’m completely transparent on my perspective (*sigh…like you really care*)…if you’re in any form of a committed relationship and you’re stepping out on your partner, it is CHEATING. So, for those of you who think “I’m not married” is your claim to not being a cheater… WRONG again. You, too, made the headline: “Cheaters” and your picture is right under the caption. Congratulations! Don’t try to make excuses for your wrongdoing. It is what it is. Own up to it. Then, there’s the ever-present double standard we need to assess. Is it really ok for men to cheat and be viewed as some sort of Don Juan or player? Yet, when a female performs the same acts she’s repeatedly labeled a whore? Are there “degrees” of wrong based solely on gender? How so?! Or, is wrong truly just WRONG? Heaven, I’ve said enough on the topic. Put your words on the net for this blog. WE’RE BACK!

Sensae

I totally agree with Sensae, cheating is cheating. What is wrong is wrong! She asks a very good question, what is cheating? Is it physical or emotional? How much can you endure? What would send you over the edge? What would make you say NO MORE? Recently we witnessed the Governor of NY admit to being involved with a woman from an escort service. While making this confession his wife was standing by his side, showing her support. I wondered, while watching the press release, if she was there for show, or was she really supportive. Would his wife have made an appearance if her husband was having an affair, full with emotion and lust? Is the pill easier to swallow if it is a one night stand? There is no cookie cutter answer, what may feel right for some may not feel right for all. The biggest issue in my view will come after the smoke has cleared. Once you have found out that your mate has cheated, and you have decided to stay or leave, you will ultimately have to learn to trust again. Trust the person that cheated on you, or trust the next person you let into your life. This is where the whole “bringing baggage’ into a relationship stems from. If you are a cheater, think about all of the pain that you will bring. Make a change for 2009, get it right. If you need to be with more than one person, don’t make a commitment to just one. Be honest from jump, and your conscience will let you sleep at night. Men and Women both are held to the same standard, or should be. If you are deceitful, your gender makes no difference. A liar, is a liar. Remember, if you have to second guess it, it probably is wrong.

Nevaeh

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